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Keeping sex alive in your relationship


Woman laying in bed wearing lingerie

I have heard so many times that couples forget about their sex lives when they get into long term relationships. Sex is just one way to have intimacy within your relationship, but most people would say it's an important way.

Side note - sex is not everything.

If you are wanting to keep an active sex life with your long term partner, these are some tips for you.

Talk about sex

Seriously, discuss it. Talk about your concerns, your worries, your wants, your fantasy and your ideal night. Talking about all of this makes both your partner and yourself know exactly what is wanted and what is not wanted. It makes everything so much more fun when you know exactly what to do to get things happening.

Try new things

Branch out of the norm and try some new things, it doesn't have to be anything crazy (unless that's what you're into!). Just try one new thing a month - handcuffs, lingerie, toys or go a little crazier and bring another person into the mix.

Don't worry

Destress!! Especially if you are working and come home unhappy, who would ever want to have sex after the worst day with their crappy boss? Lower your stress levels and you'll be keener to fool around.

Make it a priority

Making it a priority will at first be sucky, but it is true that when you do it often, you want it often.

Set boundaries

Know your own limits and your partner's limits. It is extremely important when trying new things too. Setting boundaries ensure that everybody involved is happy, comfortable and enjoying exactly what is happening.

Want to please your partner

Work on pleasing your partner, the more you do it, the more you will realise your partner loves it and chances are, the favour is returned.

Be realistic

Honestly, be realistic, who wants to be working a 14 hour day (some people really do!) and then come home and expect to want to have sex. Some days, it just is not possible which is okay.

Ask questions

Ask your partner what they want. You can ask, during, before or even after. Ask them if they liked you doing XYZ. Ask and learn more about your partner!

Respect, respect and respect

This one should be obvious - respect your partner and their limits. Don't do things they don't enjoy or are uncomfortable doing.