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Breaking the self-hate

Self-hate is something that many of us go through at one point or another. It is a condition that can affect us at any time and can last momentarily or it can last for a number of years.


Self-hate is not something to be ashamed of, it is very common and if you are experiencing it – it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. Just that you may have gone through a hard time and you are struggling to see the amazing person that you really are.


What causes self-hate?

There are a number of reasons that someone may be experiencing feelings of self-hate.

It can be triggered by a trauma that has happened to you. The trauma may start to bring up feelings that are negative towards yourself and can be hard to take control over.

It can be caused by the environment that you are in. In many cases self-hate can arise from those around you making negative comments which then make you question yourself.


It can also be caused by a want of perfection. You may have an ideal picture for yourself and if you are not fitting into that picture it can cause you to begin to have feelings of hate towards yourself.


How can you overcome the feeling of self-hate?

Even though there are a number of reasons why you may be experiencing self-hate, there are also a number of ways that you can overcome the feelings as well. It is important to focus on yourself and try to overcome the negative feelings and learn to practice self-love instead. The most important thing is to be able to slow down and think about the feelings you have and determine which are just feelings and which are facts.


Another important thing to do to overcome the feeling of self-hate is to focus on your strengths. By focusing on your strengths you are able to start to see how good you are at different things, become more confident and proud of your achievements. When we are experiencing the feelings of self-hate we often only focus on the things that we are not happy with or that we think we are not good at. By focusing on the good things and the things that you are happy with you are able to see the other side of yourself and the side that others see of you and learn to love yourself more.


Along with focusing on the good, you also need to learn to not be such a big critic of yourself. We are normally our own wort critics and worst enemies. This means that we see ourselves in a way that others do not. We are exceptionally hard on ourselves. We need to teach ourselves to be kinder to ourselves and not put so much pressure on ourselves.


It is not all about how we see ourselves though. You need to be able to genuinely accept compliments when you receive them from other people. When you are experiencing the feelings of self hate it is often felt when you receive a compliment that there is a reason behind the compliment – that they are angling for something or that it is not true. You need to learn to accept the compliment with open arms and know that it is coming from a true heart.


Remember that stopping the self-hate takes time. It is something that can take time to master and there is a big journey ahead of you in regards to learning new techniques to deal with it and to overcome it. You need to not only train your mind into not believing the self-hate thoughts but you also need to learn how to love yourself. Learn how to make changes in your life and lifestyle to make it more pleasant for you and to result in you being happy in yourself.


Self-hate can be damaging to you and it can start to rule your life.


Take the time to focus on yourself, find out what it is that is causing you to have these feelings and come up with ways to overcome them.


Stop being your own worst critic and become your own biggest supporter.